Why?

Well...this has to be the first question, no?  Why not leave well enough alone?  Why do personal habits in private moments make for such good storytelling?  Why is this fascinating to me? 

When I worked at MTV, a friend and I used to share anecdotes about what we encountered in the public restroom at work.  (She will be referenced throughout this blog and so I'll refer to her as "H".)  One evening H mentioned to her husband, a psychiatrist, what we were discussing and he informally diagnosed me as having an abnormal obsession.  While the words stung at first, I started to think about the nature of it.  This behavior is rarely discussed and usually only taught (HOPEFULLY) in the first 5 years of life.  While folklore can be passed from generation to generation with its theme intact, bathroom behavior is taught like a bad game of "whisper down the lane" and runs the gamut from utilitarian to wacky...and what is "normal" to one family might not be "normal" for another...and who doesn't want to understand where they fit in the grand scheme of things?

Speaking of those first 5 years, it's not an easy thing to teach...like telling time.  Parents come up with an entire lexicon of baby euphemisms to conjure up every imaginable part and function.  (It was "tinkle" and "poo" in our family.)  This further complicates matters because the children have to learn, at some point, to translate these into adult euphemisms.  (HOPEFULLY)  With all these euphemisms floating around, is it any wonder that confusion arises? 

Add to this the difference between boys and girls and all of the logistical implications it invites.  It necessitates the differentiation of boys rooms and girls rooms and the plumbing housed within.  It dictates the evacuation style which is academic until you find yourself in Giants' Stadium in a line running all the way back to the Churros wagon.

Of course, there is the issue of hygiene.  Suddenly one's personal habits at home come colliding into a public space.  You may be a Lysol-spewing germ avenger at home...but sooner or later you will find yourself in your worst nightmare...a gas station bathroom: a Petri Dish with a 15 watt bulb and no paper.  How do you reconcile that?

What about privacy?  etiquette?  culpability?

These are the abnormal obsessions we'll be visiting in this blog.